gamesncrap

Oops, I forgot to update! For a long time!

That’s because my computer is currently torn down, in pieces, ready to be sent off to eBay. I’m selling off my powerhouse of a computer because I just don’t need it, and I’m getting one of the new Alienware M11x laptop/netbook hybrids. I just don’t need a huge, power hungry beast to check email and browse the web with anymore, and it doesn’t help computer games, for the most part, are a giant load of crap anymore. I don’t need a GTX 285 to play Duke Nukem 3D.

That will probably be reviewed left, right and top to bottom when I acquire it though. They aren’t actually out yet, so I’ve got plenty of time so save up for it. Right now I’m using my 2003 Thinkpad R50, which is surprisingly usable for it’s age. I just had to take stupid Windows XP off and stick Windows 7 on it…except ATi has no drivers for the zillion year old Radeon 7500. Aside from having to force the XP driver, it works really, really well.

By the way, WINDOWS XP MUST DIE. STOP USING IT. PLEASE SLINGSHOT IT INTO THE SUN. Anybody who still uses it PURPOSELY is an IDIOT. Windows XP DOES NOT “use less resources”, it just SITS THERE AND DOES NOTHING WITH IT. I even whipped up this crappy picture to show how old and dead XP is. This is the best I feel like doing on a laptop keyboard and mouse, so…shut up.

Above: World at War in it’s natural habitat.

I was digging through stuff from the old site, and I found an unfinished few paragraphs about this game. I’ll just chuck it and tell you now, this game is horrible. Don’t play it. Unless you love generic, frustrating, glitchy exploit filled combat of course. Even better, try out Veteran difficulty and watch as the Nazis throw grenade after grenade at you. The only way to beat this stupid game on Veteran is to either be stupid enough to spend the time respawning every five seconds, or have a glitched out disc drive like Daniel. What’s even funnier is the fact that I don’t even have to tell you that, now that Modern Warfare 2 is out and nobody cares about the stop-gap anymore. (Actually, zombie mode isn’t bad…but making the mini game better then your entire game is a mortal sin and should be punishable by death. Charging 30$ for 3 maps is pretty retarded too)

Finally beat it. Amazing game once you get into it… very gripping storyline. That is also the third game I have beat this year.

1. Bayonetta
2. Crysis
3. Mass Effect 2

Now onto Assassins Creed 2…

(This is a “port” of an article salvaged from the old site. It was written back in 2007. The writing quality sucks. I tried to spruce it up a little. I just wanted an excuse to drink this stuff because it is awesome. I hated how they brought it back with World of Warcraft artwork…and did it in 2009. Way to strike while the iron is hot guys. Also, mixing Code Red and Livewire DOES NOT produce the same drink. Not to me anyway…sniffle. Also, I just noticed that the CD case the can is placed on is Sothis by Vader…in case you were wondering. Also, Halo 3 turned out fine.)

Hooray, marketing! Mountain Dew seems to be after the hearts and urinary tracks of Xbox and Halo lovers everywhere. Remember the Mountain Dew baby vomit green Xbox? Halo 2 Mountain Dew machines? I don’t want to type Mountain Dew again, so I won’t. The word “Mountain” is just way too curvy for me to repeat in my head for too long.

I don’t care what anyone has to say about Halo 3. It seems to be a trend now for people to hate Halo. During my Halo 3 Beta playtime all I heard was complaining, which is funny since all those people logged huge amounts of hours playing said beta. Keyword beta. I for one am very excited for Halo 3, since it should actually be good, unlike Halo 2 (which was just sort of good). I had to hunt this stuff down since I love stupid drinks and Halo, but since I live in Wiener World and absolutely no stores around me ever have stuff like this, I had to cross the Mason Dixon line to find this crap. After that, I had a cold for a week and couldn’t drink it, so I had to let it ferment in the fridge. How does it taste? Really good. It’s like a game turned into liquid, and that game isn’t TMNT for NES, fortunately.

According to the can, Game Fuel is suppose to be "Mountain Dew with an invigorating blast of citrus cherry", and it has more caffeine in it. So  not only do you get a magical citrus-cherry flavor, but you also get hyped up to do stuff, like sit around for hours at a time. Since caffeinated drinks have become pretty trendy among the gamer, computer, and people who love drinks that all taste alike, it ought to sell pretty well. I have to give a thumbs up to not having CAFFEINE emblazoned across the can in Halo font.

My camera sucks, so don’t worry if that picture is gross looking. This drink is actually really good. It tastes a lot like melted ice pops, specifically the orange and pink ones. The drink itself is orange. I hope it becomes a permanent flavor. I do have to point out a drawback to this magical concoction. After drinking it you can literally feel the sugar working away at destroying your teeth, just like in those dentist cartoons. I felt like a dentists dream come true after every gulp.

Each can comes with a big picture of Master Chief plastered on it, along with the Halo 3 logo. That means you can decorate your house with them, just like I did. Now when you walk in my kitchen, your surrounded by discolored Master Chiefs. We still have a bunch of this stockpiled. We’re keeping it forever. Also, ignore the people who say this stuff is gross, as they are either drinking it from bottles, or warm, both of which is sure to make any soda suck. The Slurpees are good too!

I basically wasted the whole weekend on Mass Effect 2. Well, at least that’s what my save file tells me. I have rang up 52 hours in it since it’s arrival on Thursday. Right now I’m at the end, and it’s still great.

I usually hate games like this. I don’t think I’ve ever liked any of Bioware’s games. I’m not a big fan of RPG’s nowadays, especially American style ones. This has nothing to do with thinking Japan is better or any of that crap. Actually, right now, Japan basically sucks when it comes to the video game department, which is something they used to run with an iron fist. There are a few good things here and there, but for the most part, I haven’t played a whole lot of good Japanese games. I’m sure someone will throw tomatoes at me for saying that though.

For instance, I didn’t like Mass Effect number one that much. The combat was basically a joke. Fights would last seconds and made no sense. The best part of the game was playing as a female and seducing the female alien in your squad. Literally. Okay, I guess the storyline was okay too.

Aside from this picture of me GLITCHING OUT AND WALKING AROUND IN THIN AIR, this game is very cool. It has a ton of personality. The characters are really interesting, and same with the different species. It’s like Star Wars or something!

I’ve got Assassins Creed 2 en route, when I’m done with this. Next up is Bioshock 2 and God of War Dante’s Inferno.

I’m not even going to re-read this post. It’s probably pretty uninteresting. I’m not sure if I’m going to do the game reviews thing like I used to do, seeing as I no longer own a giant amount of video games and consoles, but if the resurrected reviews I did do get some attention, maybe I will. I think most people just want to hear, “Is this crap…crap?” and then a yes or no.

The highlight of my weekend can be pictured above.

NOW GO BUST SOME HEADS AT TAKE TWO AND GET DUKE NUKEM FOREVER OUT THE DOOR YOU JERK

Oh no! I’m not really writing about Slurpees am I? Well, yes, I am. Deal with it.

I ventured out of my cave in order to see if the local 7-11 had God of War Slurpees, and ended up finding this. Of course they didn’t have the new ones. Nobody gives a crap around here. Bunch of savages in this town.

Apparently this is also a pretty old flavor, and I JUST now saw it in place of the usual Banana. It was for some Battle of the Bands thing.

Anyhow, it’s called Battle Berry, and it tastes like…a berry smoothie. Not much of  a surprise there. Nothing too amazing.

This is probably the sixth time I have tried this website thing out. Hopefully, this time it will stick. Here is a little history on www.gamesncrap.com.

I cobbled the first version of the website together with XHTML and CSS that I had JUST learned. It actually didn’t look that bad, but it was pretty plain and had a black and white color scheme. Kind of looked like it belonged in the 90’s though, with splash screens and everything.

Another revision or two to make it more modern looking. This is where it had the most content.

Eventually, after learning the ropes (or pretending I know something about web design), I ended up scrapping and rebuilding the site a zillion times to the point of trashing it and most of the content. I felt like a lot of the stuff I wrote made me sound like an idiot, so I re-wrote it, and ruined it even more. I still have a good amount of it though.

Well, now I’ve graduated to a real genuine big boy site. It has a CMS and everything. No more .htm, and an even bigger learning curve! Now if I want to change the theme every five seconds, much like a girl changes clothes, or a pimp changes hats, I can do so without trashing the whole site. I will bring back the forum if people want it. That was actually pretty cool at one point.

I think the only thing that hasn’t changed is the logo. It’s not even that cool. I mean, look at it. It’s just a gradient of the font OgreJuice. Whatever, some people have told me they really dig it. I tried drawing a decent version of it to fancy up, but it’s okay how it is. The dumbest thing I’ve heard about it? “I CAN’T READ IT.” Shut up. Learn how to read funky letters and stop bugging me.

So, I’m probably going to spruce up the old articles and stick them back up. Let me know if anything is bOrked or looks funky, and let me know how you like the theme. It’s based on another theme called….well, I forgot what it was called. I ripped most of the old stuff out of it and replaced it with my own. Now that’s how you learn! It’s a good thing I don’t want to be a doctor.